Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
