I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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