Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
