six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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