be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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