Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
3pm strippers are depressing
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
