if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
