i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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