shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
