What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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