Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
