Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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