That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
