She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My vagina just clenched in fear
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