Duck Duck Cougar?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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