You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
