no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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