Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
