shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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