Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I will die if light touches me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
