evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize