its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
