Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
