But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
