she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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