I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
