We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
