we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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