im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize