vagina is talking i cant
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
True strength comes from lack of pants
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
