Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize