i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
