Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
