I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
