Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
