WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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