i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
