I am puke
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
