His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize