Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to stop coming to work sober
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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