I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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