Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
