brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He felt like a one man threesome
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
