That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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