Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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