careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
