im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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