try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the day after is always just damage control
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
