also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
