im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
