He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
