That's when you crack a 10am beer
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
