I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
