Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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