then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
