I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
