I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
